annoyed

with myself that is.


dont you hate that? when the one person that you want to get away from more than anything, follows your around day and night, night and day?


there are some things that im working on in my life right now. some things that i thought had been taken care of, but i feel like they had maybe just been shoved under the rug to deal with other pressing matters.


so i decided to be proactive. i decided to deal with life head on, and make myself better: my mind, my body, my relationships, everything. 


sounds like a good idea. and it is. i need to do this. im moving forward. im making good decisions.


that all being said. im annoyed with myself. im annoyed that im having to relearn something we all learn as children. im annoyed that i just cant be ok. im annoyed (yet so grateful) that i have dear friends checking in on me to see how im doing. 


but they shouldnt have to. ugh. i should be ok. i just feel dumb. and i dont like that.


but im not. im being proactive. im not dumb. im just working things out.


so i guess this is the part where i need to remember to give myself the same thing that i try to give everyone around me (keyword: try)... grace~


courageously being honest with how im feeling,
lauren