love wins?

maybe you are familiar with it, and maybe you arent, but i have finally finished the book "Love Wins" by rob bell. 


the only reason that i bought it & read it when it was first released was because of  all the controversy surrounding it. if there is one thing that christians can do it is start up a firestorm & make more people see the movie, or read the book, just because there may be a hint of controversy surrounding it. so thank you everyone for freaking out about this book. 


its taken me awhile to read. i usually breeze through books like the world's ending, but this one made my brain explode every time i sat down to read it. the questions that rob bell was asking were SO intense & thought-provoking that i just needed to have some time to process it all. they werent bad by any means, but they definitely sent me spinning in them for a bit. which was definitely a good thing.


before i really start writing about the book i just want to say first & foremost that i do not claim to know everything by ANY means. because i know that i dont. im not a schooled theologian. i dont have a masters in biblical studies. i just know what i feel the Lord has put on & into my heart. i may be wrong. what i type might not completely go alongside with what you believe. and i think that that is ok. and like i said... im probably wrong. but i know that if i am that the Lord will convict me & guide me to maybe what is right. or we may never know... 


that all being said.


i loved this book. i loved it. i feel like i am the type of person that this book is meant for. its meant for someone who just need to hear about the love of Christ. That there is more to Him than anger & judgment & wrath & ...


i underlined this book like it was going out of style. while nannying i repeatedly had to tell the girls that only mommys & daddys & laurens write in books. that they do not! 


ill probably just write out a few of the lines that meant something to me. They came along the more i read.


and can i just say this? im not seeing the controversy in the book. there are moments where i felt like maybe something was too far-fetched, but that doesnt mean that it isnt possible. God can do anything, right? Oh, and never once did i feel that Rob Bell was preaching universalism. really. my theory? read the book with an open mind before you go on judging it... im just saying...


moving on.


this book spoke about love. love. in a way that i have only ever heard once before. "...love, by its very nature, is freedom. For there to be love, there has to be the option, both now and then, to not love." 
     I dont want a friend to love me because they have to. i dont want to be in a relationship where someone loves me because of something other than who i am. and i think that that goes the same for the Lord. He loves us just because that's who He is. And i think that its this beautiful thing that we choose to love Him. Why would He make us love Him? That just doesnt make sense to me.


"Could God say to someone truly humbled, broken, & desperate for reconciliation, "Sorry, too late"? Many have refused to accept the scenario in which somebody is pounding on the door, apologizing, repenting, and asking God to be let in, only to hear God say through the keyhole: "Door's locked. Sorry. If you had been here earlier, I could have done something. But now, it's too late." 
--Ok. this may be where it gets a bit tricky. i know that some of you are reading this & thinking that im some crazed hippie. Here's the deal... this is also where it gets complicated for me. If God loves everyone, and i believe that He does, then would He be able to do that? I mean God is God, & He can do everything... but would He? If He wants all of us to be with Him & rejoice in & with Him, then wouldnt it make sense that He would open the door?


Yes, i understand that that may not be a "theologically correct" statement, BUT its definitely a question im asking myself & one that im wrestling with. For me, i dont feel like it is a "quitting the faith" type of statement, but i think that its one to think about & search out. It makes complete sense to me, but then again the Lord that i know in my life right now is Love. 


continuing...


this next one really stuck with me:
"... the cross and resurrection are personal. This cosmic event has everything to do with how every single one of us lives every single day. It is a pattern, a rhythm, a practice, a reality rooted in the elemental realities of creation, extending to the very vitality of our soul." 
     That's completely true. they are both very personal things. yes there are some foundational truths that christians as a whole believe, but i think that at the end of the day, everyone's journey... everyone's experience with the Lord is different.


"People come to Jesus in all sorts of ways." yep. enough said.


"When your God is love, and you have experienced this love in flesh & blood, here & now, then you are free from guilt and fear and the terrifying, haunting, ominous voice that whispers over your shoulder, "Youre not doing enough." The voice insists that God is, in the end, a slave driver."  
     That is how i have experienced what i thought to be the Lord. I was filled with guilt & shame & fear that what i was doing was not enough. That there was no way that i could get into heaven cursing like that... or listening to music like that... or thinking like that... or any number of things. But that is not the God that i know now. The God that i experience now is one of love... and grace. Yes, i will mess up. Yes, i will make the wrong choice where i shouldve maybe made the right one. But isnt there grace for that? Isnt there the freedom to make those decisions? Ive had a few really tough conversations about that a few months ago, and i think of them often. Maybe im wrong? Maybe what im really seraching into right now is just too lovey dovey for some. But for me, i need that. 
a summer ago i just started making some really bad decisions, and had a dear friend walk through it with me. it was a season where i knew that what i was doing was wrong, but walked through it anyway. my friend wrote me a note (that i stumbled upon the other day) and said that she felt like i was walking into a trap, but that i knew i was walking into a trap. and she was completely right. i had made definite decisions the day before & was ready for what was thrown my way. Now, if she had come to me & shamed me & guilted me into doing the right thing, honestly? i wouldve done the complete opposite. i wouldve gone out & dont stupid things & had to pay the price for the end. However, she came to me with love... and grace... and i could see it in her & i could sense it in her words. i dont know if ive ever really said it, but im so thankful for it. I knew that in the end that she would love me no matter what i decided to do. Does that make me an awful person for using that? I dont think that i used it... i just did really what i had to do. there were some things that i needed to experience & go through, and i am so thankful to say that truly... TRULY... the Lord saved me. I felt the hand of the Lord through the entire thing. LOVINGLY guiding me... and saving me in moments where i couldnt save myself. All of that to say... in my life right at this moment, the last thing that i need in my life is more guilt. i dont think that that is from the Lord. At least that is not the Lord that i know & experience right now...


One thing that i really enjoyed about this book is how Rob Bell approached the delivering of the "Good News". 


"So when the gospel is diminished to a question of whether or not a person will 'get into heaven,' that reduces the good news to a ticket, a way to get past the bouncer and into the club. The good news is better than that. ...Life has never been about just 'getting in.' Its about thriving in God's good world. It's stillness, peace, and that feel of your soul being at rest, while at the same time its about asking things, learning things, creating things, and sharing it all with others who are finding the same kind of joy in the same good world."
     Ive often wondered about that... the "scare tactics" that are used in " winning people for the Lord." Are their hearts truly changed or are they just afraid of the very thing that will save them? I dont want to rely on that. I dont want to love & get to know that Lord. I know that the Lord has anger & wrath & all of those other attributes, but i wonder about what He would think about that? Would you want someone to love you because youre afraid that they will condemn you to hell forever if you dont? I know i dont want that for myself, so why would i explain it that way to others? i wouldnt... i know that that part is real, but so are both sides. You also have to explain the loving Lord. I know that goes both ways...


So what did i learn from this book? i learned that the Lord loves. Having known the Lord that condemns if you dont read your bible & pray every day (which i think that that is just a view of the Lord that people use to scare into line) i need to know another side of Him. I need to know that He loves me & will continue to love me & offer grace not IF i mess up, but WHEN i mess up. because i do. and i will continue to do so. 


So my final thoughts? i really enjoyed it for what it was. i felt that the controversy surrounding it was completely unnecessary, but i think that it can be used for good. Heck, i went out and bought the book because of it. and the book and the controversy surrounding it has been all over the news & in magazine articles. i feel like now is the time for Christians as a whole to show the love of the Lord & not look down or condemn others because they may believe differently. I dont think that he was saying that we dont need to go out & continue sharing the love that the Lord offers. I didnt get that at all. 


So that's what i hope to go out & keep doing... or at least try to do. love. love the best that i can. love those who dont get that sort of love from the church. love those who maybe dont love me back. and let them know that the Lord loves them so much more... because of who they are...


courageously saying that yes, love does win,
lauren