alright. as you may know, i gave up alcohol for lent this year. 

i wanted to see how many things i could do without the help of a little liquid encouragement. 

well, let's back this train up a little bit.

the bf's computer crashed? wasnt working? so. he asked if i was able to head up to the city & help him look for a new one. (i secretly wonder if he just wanted an excuse to see me ;)

since i had to wake up earlier this morning for work, i asked if he could meet me halfway then we would drive up together. it worked perfectly! :)

anyway. we headed up to the the mall & decided to grab some dinner, walk around a little bit, & spend a little bit of time looking at computers. 

at dinner, he had wine & i had club soda. he then met up with a friend quick, & ordered a martini. i once again had club soda. 

we went to our favorite place. with our favorite appetizer. and all i could think of was a gin martini. Mmm....

anyway. my mind is clearly on that martini...

so. one of the things that i enjoy doing at the mall, is riding on the rides. 

the only problem is that i am terrified of heights. completely paralyzing fear of heights. 

the last time we were there, i said that i wanted to try out the ferris wheel. we get to the line & i realize that there was no way that i could go on it, but that maybe after another drink i would have the courage to do it! ;)

well. one of the things that i wanted to do during lent was go on the ferris wheel. why? because i know that i would have to do it without any outside factors. 

so we had dinner, walked around a little bit, & decided to grab a couple of ride points & ride the ferris wheel. 

we stood in line for less than a minute, & somehow my legs locked up & it took everything within me to move them forward. when we finally are able to board the ride, the operator asks my name. no big deal. 

we sit down & i immediately start to cry. ugh i felt so dumb. Jason was sitting next to me, & i just couldnt control my tears any longer. 

i held tight to the middle pole, & tried not to completely sob & breakdown anymore than i already had.

so we're sitting there & im slowly calming down when i hear something. wait. the lady who asked me name... did she just say happy birthday, lauren?! what?!?! where in the world did this come from?! 

at first i thought she said "youre doing OK, lauren!" 

nope. i dont think that she had said that. i truly believe she said happy birthday!

i couldnt even believe it. i asked Jason if he had joked with her about it, but nope. it was a completely hilarious misunderstanding!

anyway. by the end of the ride, i was sitting back, looking over the edge, & wishing that it wouldnt end... 

wow.

i can do brave things. i really can. 

i throw myself into situations that i know i'll lose at. i walk thru doors into places where i know i will not succeed. i ride the ferris wheel. 

so. there you have it. i can do things. i can ride the ferris wheel without a drop of alcohol. i can be brave. 

and it felt really good. im afraid to say that i wasnt brave enough to take a picture, but maybe that's because i was too busy kissing the bf. (not a lot. no making out. just a sweet top of the ride kiss. it was nice.)

next up? karaoke. sober. aw yeah, baby!