sympathizing

Now, as im writing this post im wanting to convey at the very beginning that i mean no judgment on anyone, and its more of something that i observed. 


Last night i went downtown with a few friends from work. i didnt have anything going on, and thought it would be fun to hang out for a little bit. Little did i know that my mind would wander as much as it did...


i hadnt dressed or brought any clothes to go out afterwards, and wasnt planning on wearing my work clothes. so i set out for a quick target run and grabbed a cute top and jeans (skinny jeans no less!) So i pulled on my boots and set out.


We get downtown and im trying to be cool and fit right in. my buddies had promised to take turns looking after me so it was evened out 50/50. What kind guys! We stopped somewhere, and grabbed a booth. then it started. my people watching went into overdrive. but not just looking around at everyone, but more specifically the girls downtown. i was so intrigued by what in the world they are thinking. No really. what are those girls thinking? why do they wear what they wear? their breasts are hanging out and their hair is teased and they are asking for something. but why? do these girls not think that they can get any better? do these girls not KNOW that they can find better? 


Now im not saying that all girls are like that, and all guys are looking for girls like that. what i am saying is "generally speaking." I hung out with some great people last night, and not everyone is like that~


Anyway, it just got me to thinking. maybe not so much as thinking, but sympathizing for them. Feeling so sorry that life or whatever else has made them think that in order to find a great man, they have to get all dressed up, and look fake in order to attract that attention. I know ive done it, and i understand. Sometimes that attention is all you need to make your day just a bit brighter. But there is a downside. they only want you for that one thing. they only want to "check you out" or they think that you have something to give them. And then it goes into a tailspin of awful emotions, and you just feeling worse for not being as "beautiful" as the others. 


What am i trying to say here? Im not quite sure. I feel like my thoughts are all jumbled up, but i feel like im still getting my message across...


I feel like this is my way of telling those girls that they dont have to do that. They dont have to dress that way to get a guy to notice them. i know thats so easy to say, yet so hard to do. i completely understand that. sometimes its just easier to throw on some sexy jeans, a pair of boots, and rock it. but in the end you just feel worse. what if youre rejected? what if you arent beautiful enough for them? Then you just feel worse about yourself, and have to keep trying and trying, and potentially failing and failing...


Now please understand me. I dont claim to know everything, and i do not claim to have it all figured out because believe me i do not. But im so thankful that im working on it. Im thankful that ive discovered who i am again, and am still discovering those missing pieces...


Also, im not saying that its not fun to dress up and that people who dress up are all girls like that because i know they arent. I enjoy dressing up just for fun sometimes. I wear dresses to work, and rock my boots. i love it. sometimes it just makes me feel good about myself. I get that.


i hope that this post maybe gives some hope and sheds some light or... i dont know.... it only takes 1 person to change things right? so maybe im not changing anything but maybe im making people think...


courageously taking one step at a time,
lauren